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FEATURE ARTICLE of the Unforgettable Embrace newsletter

Save my marriage

Is your marriage or relationship falling apart and you don’t even know about it? Perhaps you have been lulled into a sense of complacency, thinking that you and your partner can get by like a couple of “roommates.” Just because things seem quiet at home doesn’t mean everything is okay. It’s very possible, and I’ve seen it before, where one partner is shocked when their long-term partner finally gives them the news that it is over for them, and they are really ready to move on!

Imagine your shock if your partner, who you thought was just being subtly difficult for years, informs you that they are “done.” They explain how they went through a period of arguing with you, fighting for what they want, but it never worked. Then, there was a quiet period when they stopped fighting, but were still unhappy.

They tried various tactics, such as being extra considerate and supportive for a while. Or, they avoided you and stopped giving to you, hoping you would notice and feel your own pain (if you couldn’t feel theirs). These attention-grabbing tactics didn’t work though. And then, during that quiet, non-argumentative but unhappy period, they came to the conclusion that it was hopeless. They spent that time coming to terms with the fact that it was over with you, and came up with a plan for how they were going to move on without you. 

This is exactly what happened to one of my clients. He was completely blindsided when his wife of 25 years gave him the news that she wanted a divorce. It wasn’t that there weren’t warning signs. The signs were there, but he just didn’t know what to look for, and how important those signs were.

I don’t want this to happen to you, so I’m going to give you the signs and symptoms to look for when your relationship is on the rocks.

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