Why They Won’t Change For You

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Frustration.  Disappointment.  Again.

How can a relationship feel so painful?  Your partner, husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is most likely the person who upsets you the most. How can this be, when they are supposed to be the one who loves you the most, the one who is supportive and on your side?

The more you care, the more it hurts. That’s why it’s much easier to ignore the “bad” behavior of strangers – we just don’t care that much about them.

But when it hits home, it’s hard to ignore. We start complaining and try to make it stop.

Do you think that if s/he just understood you better then they’d change their behavior? Then I have bad news for you. Even when partners understand, they rarely change their behavior. And it’s not because he or she doesn’t love you, because they do.

“Well then, if they love me so much then why do they treat me that way!?”

The key is in the word, “treat”. The idea that they way other people act around us is a type of “treatment” and a reflection of how much they value us. Actually, people act the way they do because it’s best for them. It’s what they’ve learned to do over time, it feels natural and it’s ingrained! They can’t just suddenly stop doing what they’ve always done!

Or, can they?

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Express Your Potential as a Woman

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As a woman, you often get put into a “box” about your value to society, and what your aspirations should be. There are palpable limits placed upon us in all areas of our lives: from the personal and social arenas to the professional. There are very real societal markers about the status (or lack of it) that women currently endure, such as lower earnings for the same work, fewer women in positions of authority at large corporations and in government. We encounter pre-conceived notions about who we are and should be from family, friends, coworkers, and strangers.

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Sometimes things are said directly to us, such as a suggestion that we should smile and look happy (because we are a woman). Other times the communication is more subtle, such as the automatic assumption that a male coworker be appointed the lead on a team, even when you (a woman) had originated the idea for the project. It could be something said to or about another woman you know, and you make the association to yourself (because you are also a woman).

These limiting remarks surround us. It can be difficult to withstand this continuous stream of prejudging. It can seep into your psyche and create boundaries for you that limit who you are and what you do. They can hold you back and keep you from fully expressing who you are.

We can’t change society overnight, but we can learn how to empower ourselves and the other girls and women in our lives. Authentic empowerment means feeling good about yourself, feeling good about being a woman, and pursuing whatever dreams and aspirations you hold for yourself.

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Pursue Your Dreams!

You can fully own your life, make decisions based on who you are, what your values are, and what makes sense for you at the time. You can recognize the value and worth of your abilities, talents, and work in the world and express it. You can realize your amazing potential, and obtain the resources you need to fully develop it. You can bring that full expression and potential to fruition and allow it to encourage and inspire others to do the same.

We don’t all have the same mission in the world. But unleashing the potential of half of the world’s population should be a primary goal for every individual, society, and country. RelateGreat Premier Coaching Services has a mission to empower woman to lead glorious lives of their own choosing. We are proud to have donated over $10,000 worth of coaching towards our mission.

If you would like to support us in our mission, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, and comment using the hashtag: #RelateGreat.

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Every Woman Can Be Beautiful

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Every woman can be beautiful.

Beauty isn’t makeup — it’s a state of being. It’s complete acceptance and appreciation of yourself. It’s an inner recognition of all your gifts and worth.

Beauty isn’t dependent upon getting recognition from others. Beauty is when your essential nature shines and radiates out to others who witness it.

Beauty comes from a complete and utter sense of security and sufficiency that leads to relaxation and poise. There is no sense of lack or desperation. Beauty is being self-possessed, not seeking admiration because there is no need.

Beauty is channeled from within and fills all your words and decisions. When you live a life of beauty, all your decisions come from a place of being self-centered and grounded. It’s never selfish because you don’t need to take anything from anyone else.

Beauty overflows into the room and into all of your actions so that others can benefit as well. Others experience a sense of goodness and rightness being around you. They understand on a deep level the natural state that resonates with their own soul. And that is why people love to be around someone who’s beautiful. Makeup will capture a look, but beauty is pure radiance and a feast for the soul.

Let me know your thoughts about feeling beautiful below . . . and please like and share! 

Super Bowl Seriousness

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It’s a great game with amazing athletes, throngs of cheering crowds, tailgate parties, and hilarious and entertaining commercials. So, what’s all the seriousness about?

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Back in the 90’s, Super Bowl Sunday began to be associated with domestic violence. There were claims that domestic violence incidents peaked on that day. While it turned out to be not true, the association was formed in many people’s minds, and it served to raise awareness about this important issue.

Real predictors of domestic violence are jealousy and possessiveness as well as verbal abuse. These warning signs show that one partner wants to control the other, and they will escalate into anger and violence if that control is threatened.

No one needs to live that way, in fear and under the constant threat of anger and violence.

That’s why I’m running *Super Bowl special* this week on my book, Ending Anger: The Couple’s Guide. The Kindle version is only $2.99 this week so get your copy now! You can also buy the paperback on Amazon and receive the Kindle version for only $0.99 more through their Matchbook program. Give the paperback to help a friend and keep the Kindle version for yourself!

Let’s all get involved to make domestic violence a thing of the past!

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Three Tips to Get Along with Your Family In the New Year

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FEATURE ARTICLE of the Unforgettable Embrace newsletter
Three Tips to Get Along with Your Family In the New Year 

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It’s a holiday time! Time to be with your family and enjoy some vacation time. It’s supposed to be joyous and fun. But you can be under a lot of stress because of rushing around, spending money and dealing with traffic. You can also find your loved ones getting on your nerves as you are together more than usual.

I encourage you to begin thinking about how you’re going to keep yourself calm and relaxed during the new year. You may want to focus specifically on how you’re going to improve your relationships with your family in the coming months.  As you think about this, I have three pieces of advice that that I’d like to give you. You may use them to think about it and to help you stay calm and truly enjoy your holiday.

 1. Do not let things get to you emotionally

One way of doing this is to start by counting to 10 and think about how things could be good. Wait before responding to things that upset you. In reality things are not really as bad as they seem.

If you would like to read the rest of this month’s feature article, gain access to past issues, and never miss out on valuable information, click here!

Only Love Can Conquer Hate

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Many of you are wondering what to do given the recent attacks in Paris and other cities such as Beirut. These events can make us feel angry, discouraged and helpless. We need to align our actions with our hearts.

Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” If you look at your own life you will see that those words ring true.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

We can chose how we relate to others, those who are different from us, those who are angry and lashing out. Anger and violence do not solve the problem, they only perpetuate and spread the suffering.

Choose love before you say or do anything. Help to heal the root problem so that lashing out is unnecessary. Let’s all choose to be part of the solution.

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Why Won’t My Partner Give Me What I Need?

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FEATURE ARTICLE of the Unforgettable Embrace newsletter
Why Won’t My Partner Give Me What I Need? 

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You love your partner and things between you two can be so good. But sometimes he or she can be so uncooperative! It is so frustrating!

Do you ever wonder why your partner won’t give you what you want?

You’ve probably tried many ways to get what you need. Sometimes you asked nicely. Maybe you pleaded and cried and begged. When that didn’t work you made demands, commanded them, or became hostile. You got angry, cursed and yelled at your partner. You called them names, or said they had a weak character. Ugh.

Maybe you blamed them for the breakdown your relationship and said it would create a permanent split. But even with all the silent treatments, angry words, avoidance, withholding of support, and everything you could think of to provoke them into action it still didn’t work.

Why?!

* Is it that they’re completely incapable, and they can’t do it?
* Is it that they absolutely just don’t get it??
* Or is it that they refuse to do even though they could do it, out of spite, to be mean or controlling?
In the end, it really doesn’t matter if your partner can’t give you what you want or won’t. You still don’t get what you need!

But, there is an important truth about this situation and I want to share it with you right now because it will set you FREE!

If you would like to read the rest of this month’s feature article, gain access to past issues, and never miss out on valuable information, click here!

What the World Needs Now

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The rate of change in our world is increasing exponentially. At some point it will be impossible to keep up. The rules of the game keep shifting. It’s not about becoming better at the game anymore, it’s about having to play an entirely new game and starting from scratch, over and over again. Some say that, “Without change there is no life. If you stagnate you die.” But change isn’t always better. Change just is. And our current trajectory feels less like progress and more like a rapid race to death.

There are incredible, earthshaking changes occurring every day now. When we talk about economic or environmental problems we talk about the world. No longer is it a local problem or even national – it’s international and it affects the entire globe.

We have technology run rampant. It’s no longer serving us – we serve it. We are chained to our devices and soon our master will no longer need us. Artificial intelligence is learning at the speed of computer processing, and it will surpass us within our lifetime.We will be dispensable. If we ever imagined we’d elevate ourselves to the stature of Creator, we may have created a monster. But this monstrous situation can be remedied.

We can release our current belief system.

Right now we humans believe a number of premises that limit and skew our perspective: That technology is superior, that left brain is superior. It leads to imbalance with the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of ourselves. We’ve heard the warnings of imbalance in the system before, but they become ever more urgent as time passes and new changes tip the scale immensely.

The same issues we grapple with on a microcosmic level or personal level are magnified and played out on a global and cosmic level. They are the limiting, negative, and unhealthy beliefs that affect us in personal ways, and in aggregate affect all of us in global ways.

What are those beliefs?

The beliefs that I don’t have power and I don’t have control, the sense that something is missing or flawed that needs to change and be improved. The idea that things are not okay the way they are and something needs to be done about it.

It seems no matter how much we have it’s not enough. We’re always striving for more. We don’t have enough, and we’re not enough. We don’t look good enough, we don’t feel good enough and we need to change. We believe that there’s not enough (scarcity model) and we’re not worthy, so we don’t value ourselves and feel deficient. Nothing satisfies, nothing is good enough the way it is. Everything needs to change and no matter how much we change it, it needs to change more.

These beliefs are all reflected in the way we operate in the world. They create an underlying dissatisfaction with how things are now. In order to have peace and stability on a global level, we must have it on a microcosmic, personal level. Until then, leaders and people everywhere will be driven to push for external change.

Spiritual leaders have always understood the beauty, simplicity, and wholeness of inner peace. It is described as bliss. When we rid ourselves of all our nagging fears and doubts, negative beliefs and conditioning, we can live in a state of bliss. We will no longer need to be grasping for more and better things, worrying that we’ll never achieve an imagined better life, terrified of losing what we have now, or of being one down, or helpless, etc.

Having rid myself of all kinds of anxiety and negative thinking, and helping many others do the same, I know it can be done. What this world needs is a transformation of our inner world. A transformation of the way we think and feel will transform the way we act in the outer world.

There’s no other way to solve snake swallowing it's tailour current state of affairs. It can’t be solved by using more technology to undo problems created by current technology. That’s a snake chasing its own tail trying to swallow itself. It won’t work. The problem needs to be solved at a different level.

Albert Einstein said,

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

We can all transform our inner world immediately. It can be done. We can release our old ways of thinking and believing. The mission of RelateGreat Premier Coaching Services is to create positive transformation in the emotional well-being of people and to end emotional suffering in the world. If you want to support our mission, please like, comment, and share this post with others. We are all important to the world.