I’m excited to announce that I’ve thoroughly updated my Blueprint for Couples – Successful Negotiations ebook, and it now listed on the Products and Services page of this blog. If you’re tired of having unproductive and painful arguments with your partner, you’re really going to love it! It gives you a complete step-by-step plan of how to prepare for, hold, and end your discussions. It keeps you on-track and moving forward so you can make real progress.
You can learn more about it by clicking the link below.
FEATURE ARTICLE of the Unforgettable Embrace newsletter
Three Tips to Get Along with Your Family In the New Year
It’s a holiday time! Time to be with your family and enjoy some vacation time. It’s supposed to be joyous and fun. But you can be under a lot of stress because of rushing around, spending money and dealing with traffic. You can also find your loved ones getting on your nerves as you are together more than usual.
I encourage you to begin thinking about how you’re going to keep yourself calm and relaxed during the new year. You may want to focus specifically on how you’re going to improve your relationships with your family in the coming months. As you think about this, I have three pieces of advice that that I’d like to give you. You may use them to think about it and to help you stay calm and truly enjoy your holiday.
1. Do not let things get to you emotionally
One way of doing this is to start by counting to 10 and think about how things could be good. Wait before responding to things that upset you. In reality things are not really as bad as they seem.
Are you lucky in love? Some people think love is mostly a matter of luck — who they happen to meet and how they get along. It isn’t really the “winds of fate” that determine your luck or lack in the love department. It’s really what you think, feel, and especially believe that determine how happy and successful you’ll be.
If you haven’t been “lucky” so far, it isn’t a sign that you won’t be in the future. All it takes is a bit of introspection about what has blocked you so far. There truly is an abundance of love just waiting for you to open up to it!
If you like videos and are interested in learning all you can about how to improve your relationship, then check out my YouTube page! You’ll find valuable tips that you can implement right away.
Check back often as I will be uploading many more new videos in 2014. Better yet, hit the subscribe button for my channel and you will be automatically alerted whenever a new video is uploaded. You won’t miss a thing!
I would love to hear what topics interest you. Put your ideas for new videos in the comment section below.
The British Association of Anger Management has declared December to be Anger Awareness Month. Their goal is to help people enjoy the holidays without all of the stress and anger. From their website:
Many of us suffer from anger during the holidays when expectations are high. There are many demands on our time, energy and resources. These challenges don’t have to mean the end to an enjoyable holiday!
One Source of Holiday Stress
See if you set unrealistic expectations on yourself. Make a list of all the things you are “supposed to” or “have to” do. Do you feel pressured to buy gifts, make homemade food and goodies, or attend get-togethers to please family, friends or co-workers? If so, you may have a limiting belief such as:
What makes me good enough is having others think well of me
Do you ever worry that your gifts and actions won’t be “good enough”? Here is another common people-pleasing belief:
What I do isn’t good enough
Why I Won’t Tell You to Set More Realistic Expectations
Most self-help guides this time of year will tell you to set more realistic expectations. You already know that you worry too much about whether others will like your gifts but you try too hard anyway. If you try to follow their advice and force yourself not to go overboard, you feel guilty about not doing more.
It doesn’t work to simply tell yourself to do the right thing. Your conscious mind can’t match the power of your unconscious mind.
There is only one way to finally rid yourself of those nagging thoughts, doubts and fears that cause your stress and the resulting anger. You must heal the unhealthy beliefs, such as the two I listed above, held in your unconscious mind.
See my new book, Ending Anger: The Couple’s Guide, to learn more about finding your unhealthy beliefs and how to permanently heal from anger.