You may wonder what, if anything will be left of your romance if you evolve spiritually. Will love become a peaceful yet passionless, totally-accepting neutral feeling where everything is okay and nothing matters? Are lust and desire “no-no’s” if you are spiritual? What about the longing and intensity of romance – aren’t those good things? Are “sexy and hot” and “spiritual” mutually exclusive??
Good question! It depends upon your understanding of spirituality. Your prior exposure to religious teachings may have suggested a chaste, innocent, pure or virginal love was the highest good. Take this opportunity to re-look at some of your beliefs around love and goodness and sin. You may want to deepen your understanding of a simplified spiritual belief system you adopted in childhood.
Spiritual love begins with knowing we are spirit, or consciousness, or awareness, (or you may have another way of expressing the same idea). As spirit, you express yourself through form such as your body and everything material in your life. Spiritual love simply remembers that your expression is one of spirit and it does not get lost in the form. You can have every expression of feeling or emotion, and physical love, and enjoy all of it, within a spiritual context. The key is not to lose your sense of identity in what you witness and experience on the physical plane.
Realizing that you are spirit or awareness will deepen your love in new ways. You realize you are both of the same essence or nature. Once you realize your deeper intimate connection with your partner you can let go of surface differences that tend to drive you apart. Now you can play with those differences, hold them lightly, because you no longer need them to be a certain way in order to be happy. If your sense of identity is linked to the body and the material world, you are trapped by what happens to you on a material plane. Everything your partner says, does and how they behave becomes immensely important to you because of how it affects your experience. You start wanting to control your experience and manipulate your partner to be a certain way. When we realize we exist beyond the body as well as through it, we have freedom to witness any physical or emotion expression as a temporal experience, part of the “endless play of form”.*
* Based in part on the writings of Eckhart Tolle.