What Women Over 40 Shouldn’t Do

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It happened again! A friend posted another one of those pesky lists with “advice” for women over 40!! But instead of discouraging me with all of its “You’re too old to” nonsense . . . it motivated me! Yup. It inspired me, a woman over 40 who actually knows what a woman over 40 should and shouldn’t do, to – instead of following their advice – to write my own *ahem* darn list. So, here it is and I hope you enjoy it!

What Women Over 40 Shouldn’t Do

 

 

  1. Worry about your appearance. Let’s get a few things straight, shall we? A woman’s purpose is not to visually stimulate others. Your worth is not contingent on the appearance of your body. The way you look should please you first and foremost, and your happiness with your looks is strictly an inside job. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else by obsessing over models in magazines, actresses, or social media stars. Break the mold and be your one and only you.
  2. Diet to be thin. Food choices should provide optimal health to your body and gustatory delight – that’s it. The main purpose of food is to fuel your activities and support the health of your body. Food choices shouldn’t be made based on what the scale says or whether you will fit into the currently prescribed cultural ideals. If you need to lose weight, do it to prevent type 2 diabetes, atherosclerosis, heart attacks, sleep apnea, back and foot pain, and any other medical condition related to obesity.
  3. Worry about what other people think of you. Stop listening to other people who tell you how to lead your life. You’re in charge of your life and no one can run it for you. Make your decisions based on what is best for you. If you do that, you’ll be healthy and happy. Allow others to do the same and find their own path. If we all did this we could live together in harmony.
  4. Spend all of your energies helping others. Women can be very nurturing by nature and by socialization, and that ability to help and support others can be taken advantage of. Don’t allow others to exploit your kindheartedness by directing all of your resources to benefit others. Limits are healthy! When we use our energies to help ourselves, we’re no longer dependent or a burden on others. We become self-empowered dynamos!
  5. Underestimate yourself. You may have heard that your choices were limited to what was socially acceptable for girls or women. Family members, teachers, or others may have set their sights for you at a lower bar. You don’t have to buy into this limited thinking. Your possibilities are truly unlimited. Your success is based more on the strength of your desire than any other factor, including how much money you currently have, level of education, and experience.
  6. Wait to do the things you want to do. The clock is ticking. You’ve reached an age where you have more power and status than you’ve ever had before. You’re old enough to call your own shots and young enough to be able to enjoy it. Don’t wait for others to allow, approve, encourage, condone, sanction, or otherwise give you the green-light to pursue your interests and desires. Just like there is “no right time to have a baby” there is no perfect time to make your dreams come true. You get to decide what to do and when. Go ahead and get started so your dreams don’t fade and turn into regrets. Strike while the iron is hot, baby!!
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this topic. Please post your comments below.
RelateGreat Premier Coaching Services ~ Leading Fully Empowered Lives

 

Happy Valentine’s Day

During this month of February and beyond I want to encourage you to remember what is important to you and who and what you love. There will always be numerous distractions in life but we get to choose what to focus on. Make the most of each day by choosing to focus on doing what you love the most. It will add up to a life well-lived.

You are special and one-of-a-kind! I’m so glad you are here! Happy Valentine’s Day! 💗❤️🌹

Happy Valentine's Day

Hugs to you

The Women’s March of January 21st, 2017

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What an amazing, awe-inspiring event!!!

I am fresh off the heels of the Women’s March, a day of solidarity for women across the globe. The event began as a march in Washington D.C. to inform our new president of women’s concerns, but it spread in sister marches across the globe. There were marches in Europe, Asia, the Middle East . . . even Antartica! Yes, there were marchers on all seven continents of the globe. In some cities the gatherings were in the tens of thousands, and it morphed into a rally because there were too many people to march. If all goes well, the marches will continue and it will turn into a movement that changes the world.

Here is a picture with me in the midst of a crowd.  My sign says, “Women’s Rights = Human Rights”.

sign-at-womens-march

There were so many beautiful women and supportive men at the march it was surprising and wonderful. The signs and sentiments were funny and smart, and expressed everything  that women hope for around the world. There was widespread rejection of sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and all forms of hate and discrimination. There was a call for love, inclusion, equality and peace. Millions of people demonstrated peacefully, on one day, in solidarity for what is fair and right, for women, for everyone, and for the world.

I know there were many women like me who felt afraid, offended, and alone after the election of Donald Trump. This march was healing for so many of us – to feel the solidarity and connection with millions of other caring people. Marching has never felt so right before! It was also incredibly empowering. On more than one occasion I started a chant — even I was surprised by the strength of my voice and how quickly and readily others joined in. I will never doubt the power of one voice to make a difference again!

If you were there, I’d LOVE to hear your experience and if you brought a sign, what it said.

What We Can Learn From This Election

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election-results

Results as of 11-9-16 10:40 pm

Like many of you, I have been shocked by many of the things I’ve seen and heard during this election and even today after the results came in. It has been a particularly divisive time for the country, unlike any we have seen in a long time. How did we get to this place?
 
There are many people in this country who felt unheard. They felt taken advantage of by Wall Street and distrustful of “the establishment.” They were frustrated and angry and voted for someone they thought would shake up the government. They decided it was better to break up our current system with the hope of getting more of what they wanted.
 
The problem with this approach is that you can throw out the baby with the bath water. While there may be problems with our current system, we could find a way to fix the parts that were broken while keeping the progress we’ve made. We could even make radical change without alienating each other.
 
It’s just like a personal relationship – you can find a way to dialog and actually listen to each other, or you can give up and break up. We had two candidates, just like two partners in a relationship. One who promotes a “me first” and an “us (my favorites and supporters) against them” stance, and one who wants to include and protect the rights of everyone.
 
Obviously, you can’t have a good relationship when you put yourself first and try to hoard things for yourself, while building a wall against others. You can’t have a rational dialog when you overgeneralize the population of an entire country or religion.
 
These two candidates were as different as night and day and there seemed to be no middle ground. So many voters were conflicted about the choice that a large percentage didn’t even vote, and it was actually a very close race in terms of the popular vote. A large percentage of people who did vote are still and shock and don’t know what to make of it.
 
We can learn a lot from this election. We can learn that we need to really listen to each other. We need to talk things out before it get so bad that people want to throw in the towel. We can take note of how all the name-calling by one candidate inspired hatred and violence, and learn to take the high-road instead.
 
We can also learn to stand strong and confident even when the other person loses their cool and spews venomous insults and threats our way. And finally, we can allow people to learn from their own mistakes by letting them feel the consequences of their choices and actions – a much more powerful lesson than we could ever teach.

I’d love to hear your comments in the section below, or posted on the RelateGreat FaceBook page: https://www.facebook.com/relategreatcoaching/

A “Must-Have” for Every Couple

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2016-blueprint-banner

I’m excited to announce that I’ve thoroughly updated my Blueprint for Couples – Successful Negotiations ebook, and it now listed on the Products and Services page of this blog. If you’re tired of having unproductive and painful arguments with your partner, you’re really going to love it! It gives you a complete step-by-step plan of how to prepare for, hold, and end your discussions. It keeps you on-track and moving forward so you can make real progress.

You can learn more about it by clicking the link below.

https://www.suzannebare.com/blueprint

 

 

What is Mindfulness?

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This is a FEATURE ARTICLE of my exclusive newsletter, Unforgettable Embrace.

What is mindfulness?

Have you tried the practice known as mindfulness? It is when you play close attention to each and every thing. This includes everything you notice outside of you with all of your senses, and everything inside such as how you feel emotionally and physically. It also means noticing your thoughts and realizing you are the consciousness that witnesses and creates your thoughts.

It is incredibly important to grasp this concept – that you can decide what to think. It makes all the difference in your experience of the world and yourself. You can change what to think about what happens to you, and what is happening around you.

 

 

Even more important – you can decide not to think at all when you feel like it! Now, you may be wondering why you would choose not to think. It might sound kind of crazy or weird. You might even worry about your safety if you stopped thinking!

How to Practice Mindfulness

When you first begin to practice mindfulness, you will get pulled away or distracted by the thoughts that arise. Gently, let go of the thought and return to simple awareness . . .

Wait – there’s much more! If you would like to read the rest of this month’s feature article, gain access to past issues, and never miss out on valuable information, click here!

Long-Term Happiness In Your Relationship

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This is a FEATURE ARTICLE of my exclusive newsletter, Unforgettable Embrace.

Happy Couple

If you are tired of struggling with your partner, then let me share a secret with you. I’m going to cut right to the chase and tell you what you need to know. The way to be happy long-term in your relationship is to have no expectations. When you have expectations, and they’re not met, then you feel disappointment. When you’re disappointed you’re not happy. And when your expectations are met there is no happiness, there is only a feeling of, “Of course, I knew it all along.”

Look at what happens when your expectations in your relationship are not met: you start trying to make your partner change. You want your partner to behave in a particular way and they don’t. You start prodding them and encouraging but it doesn’t work. You feel disappointed and frustrated that you’re efforts aren’t working. Then, you might get angry or try to force them to behave the way you want. If nothing works, you might give up and feel bitter and resentful.

Unmet expectations lead to bitter disappointments. This is the root of your dissatisfaction in your relationship. The solution and key to happiness is to let go of all expectation.

Wait – there’s much more! If you would like to read the rest of this month’s feature article, gain access to past issues, and never miss out on valuable information, click here!